The Top 10 Marijuana Strains We’d (Hah) Like to Sample

10 - Black Widow (80% Sativa - 20% Indica)

A cross of the Blackberry strain and the infamously-known & award-winning White Widow. Produces a lucid high that may induce napping.

9 - Arctic Sun (60% Sativa - 40% Indica)

A hybrid consisting of White Widow and the orignal Skunk strain. Said to be for the smoker w/ a high tolerance level because of it’s physical & cerebral high. Effective application for MS patients as well.

8 - Chocolope (95% Sativa - 5% Indica)

A sweet-sounding mixture of the original Chocolate Thai strain and Cannalope. It’s sure to tickle your sweet tooth w/ its chocolate-flavored smoke and dreamy/trippy stone that is grreat for anxiety, nervousness, and appetite stimulation.

7 - Blue Moonshine (Mostly Indica)

The first green I’ve seen that is actually blue, this strain originated in someone’s dream and is a cross of highland Thai and Afghani. Has a fruity taste and long-lasting stone that follows the basic storyline: Laughter - Munchies - Sleep.

6 - Mango (100% Indica)

A plant capable of producing buds up to 18 inches in length and has orange and bright green leaves. The name describes the flavor all the way and the high is a pure indica body stone. Apparently quite similar to the legendary O.G. Kush.

5 - Snow Bud (60& Sativa - 40% Indica)

Gets its name from the plant’s “high altitude” parents: Afghani and South African. This skunky bud has a spicy cinnamon smell and taste and produces a partially up-lifting experience.

4 - Ultra Skunk (55% Indica - 45% Sativa … Give or take)

A popular hybrid of the Afghani Indica Big Bud and the Mexican-Thai Skunk sativa. Has a fruity aroma and possesses an experience that is of champion potency and is “mind-opening” and borderline psychedelic.

3 - Ice (50% Indica - 50% Sativa)

Winner of the 1998 High Times Cannabis Cup. A cross of the “White family” and Dutch Skunk that tastes like black hash (that means lots of coughing), this plant apparently reeks like gasoline due to its very high THC content. Leaves the smoker in a heavy, lazy daze for hours.

2 - Blue Cheese (80% Indica - 20% Sativa)

Yes, this is no joke, there is a strain in Europe called Cheese, and it actually tastes like its name. This particular cannabis is a product of Blueberry and Big Buddha Cheese. This is a purple bud that is mostly cheese-tasting w/ a nice hint of blueberry and cotton candy. The high is flexible in that you might want to go on a hike or just chill out to some tunes. Very potent.

1 - Super Silver Haze (90% Sativa - 10% Indica)

A cutting-edge Haze hybrid that consists of some of the most well-known strains on the globe. This green can be smoked all day without putting you to sleep due to the dominance of the sativa. The smell/taste is minty & piney and its high is euphoric and lasts you quite a long time. Highly sought-after strain.

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The Drildo

So this morning we did a little flash work for an hour or so and are proud to bring you a new product. We present to you, The Drildo 18+ yrs.

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Movie Mania: Batman 3 - My Vision

As a new summer is upon us, I can’t help but remind myself that I do not have a movie to look forward to as much as I did a year ago when The Dark Knight was on the horizon. I had been waiting for its release ever since I’d seen Batman Begins in theatres on the day of its release in the summer of ‘05. Until TDK, I had never waited for a movie’s release for such a long period of time (yes, I know, I’m a Bat-nerd, I’ve accepted this). And, as of now, it appears that the next Batman flick won’t be set for release until around summer of 2012, so I have a lot of thinking and speculating to do all over again until then, as do millions of Bat-fans around the globe. So, fellow Bat-nerds, with that being said, I now present to you my personal vision of what I would do for the next Bat-flick (if only Chris Nolan were to read this lol, jk). Enjoy, and please lend me your opinion(s).

We pick up around a year-ish of where TDK left off. Harvey Dent, Gotham’s hope for a bright future, is now dead (yes, he is dead, the script itself even says so. Things could change though, who knows). The Joker is locked up in Arkham (assumably). The mob has been horribly crippled if not practically destroyed. Bruce Wayne’s childhood love Rachel Dawes is gone as well. Wayne Manor’s construction is complete, which also means that DUN DUN DUUUUN the Batcave is now in full swing. Batman is doing all he can to clean the streets of crime through fear and force. Both Gotham and Bruce Wayne’s worlds are in their dreariest of times. Thus, the scene is set for yet another dark adventure. And here we go!

Early on, a new childhood friend of Bruce Wayne’s is introduced: a vice president of a cosmetics company known as Janus Cosmetics who goes by the name of Roman Sionis. Roman, like Bruce, was born into a family of elite status. His parents though, do not care as much about their son as they do their social status, and his poor relationship w/ his parents is revealed early on. When around Bruce, Roman is almost like a mirror to Bruce. But, away from Bruce, he shows a much more darker, and potentially diabolical side. Roman’s parents were never fans of Bruce’s parents, yet still associated w/ them for image purposes. This angers Roman, because he dislikes the hypocrisy his parents practice, and sees them as glorified public “mask-wearers”. Roman announces to his friend Bruce that he has recently become engaged to his high school sweetheart/secretary and extends an invitation to Bruce to be the best man in the wedding, which Bruce is more than happy to accept.

In the mean time, Batman is preoccupied with an emerging series of jewel thefts that’ve been occurring at an alarming rate during the Gotham nights all of a sudden. They appear to be the work of a cat-burglar. Batman is determined to figure out who it is that is pulling off these seemingly impossible robberies and begins monitoring Gotham’s major jewel stores, as well as the museum, which is home to one of the most valuable diamonds in the world. Batman is sure this diamond is going to be targeted and keeps an extra close eye on it. Later on, one night during his monitoring, he sees a very quick and agile figure attempting to break into a jewelry store that is partially owned by Wayne enterprises. He quickly confronts this thief, only to find himself in the middle of the most difficult hand-to-hand fight he’s been involved in during his short time as the Batman. The fight eventually pauses, and Batman the thief tell him who he is and why they were trying to break into the jewelry store. We find out this character is a woman (by

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her voice) and upon closer inspection, we notice that her costume closely resembles that of a cat-like figure. She assures that the gems and money are not for her own personal finances, they are for the city. She also expresses anger towards Bruce Wayne for doing nothing w/ his money to better the city that he’s a part of and that she will do it for him by any means necessary. She then quickly runs off into the night. Batman is left silenced and almost jaw-dropped. He realizes that she’s right, he really has not done w/ his money what he’s been trying to do w/ his physicality. An awakening of sorts. Batman is also shocked that this robber is a costumed woman villainess, all he can do is watch as she sprints and flips into the night in acrobatic fashion. He is left confused and curious, wanting to learn as much as he possibly can about this person.

The time has come for Sionis to inform his parents of his recent engagement. He’s been hesitant because he absolutely does not know how they’re going to respond, although he deep down knows it’ll be negatively. He was right. His parents want the engagement, and the relationship, to end immediately. Such a mediocre marriage was unacceptable to them; Roman’s feelings mean nothing. This drives Roman to his breaking point. Later that evening, Roman sets the family mansion ablaze, killing both of his parents. What he did not know, was that his fiaance arrived just in time to see him commit this otrocious act. A confrontation between the two ensues, and she tells Roman she never wants to see him again and that she will make sure that he never does. She then speeds off. When Roman arrives at her apartment, he finds that she’s skipped town, and that he really will never see the love of his life ever again. This only pushes him over the edge even more. Bruce, upon hearing about Roman’s family “tragedy”, offers his condolances. When he brings up Roman’s love, Roman says without emotion that they ran into complications, and that they are no more. This sparks suspiciousness inside Bruce and makes him want to know more about the fire at the Sionis mansion. Roman then tells Bruce to leave because he’s now going to be very busy running Janus Cosmetics since the company is now his.

The Sionis fire, though, is still not the primary focus of Bruce’s time and investigating. He has become borderline obsessed w/ this mysterious masked woman. He can find nothing on her, she’s almost as ghostly as he himself is. Whenever he is out at night, he is always keeping an eye out just so he can confront her and dig deeper. One evening he gets that chance. Batman has come across a mob drug drop in an abandoned warehouse. Just as he’s about to make sure it doesn’t happen, she pops out of nowhere and attacks one of the main men in the operation. She holds him in front of her, pulls a gun, and demands the money be handed over. Batman now acts. One by one he tactically takes out the mob enforcers. Catwoman throws aside the hostage, and just as she’s about to snatch the money and run, Batman tackles her and does not allow her to get away this time. He demands to know what she is doing. She gives in, and tells Batman that she’s been stealing all of these jewels and money in order to better & improve life for the poor in Gotham. She tells Batman that he was her inspiration to begin doing so and that his actions showed her that she could use her fighting training for good. Batman loosens his grip, and she then says that she used to be a champion acrobat, but harsh times in Gotham brought her to a training facility, which then led her to a Gotham underground fighting ring. She had given it up for some time because she did not want violence in her life anymore, but once Batman began his “crusade” against crime, she now realized what she was capable of doing. She wanted to battle the mob and help out the less fortunate in the city as much as possible. She also had a sister and brother-in-law to look after, so she did not want things to get too deep. Before she disappears off into the night, she asks Batman to just stay out of her way because he and she are both one in the same. This poses quite the dilemma to Bruce, because he knows that she is only right to an extent. She wants to better the city through robbery and guns, yet he wants to better the city through intimidation, fear, and non-fatal means. This leaves Batman with a very difficult decision.

After his 2nd run-in w/ this Catwoman, Bruce begins investigating to see if she was telling the truth. Was she really putting all of this stolen riches into the community to better it? Upon research, it turns out she was 100% truthful. She was anonymously leaving money at fund-raisers, rec centers, etc. She was bettering the city in a way Bruce did not agree with, but didn’t have the heart to necessarily put an end to. She was even attempting to steal his own money, yet couldn’t get that upset towards it She was doing w/ his money he ultimately had forgotten. This again makes him see that she was correct when she said that Wayne does nothing to financially assist the community. Being Batman was beginning to make him forget his roots and his

parents’ legacy, and she had just reminded him of that. This draws him even closer to her.

Bruce, at work, is now preparing for a meeting that Roman had requested. Recently, a new line of waterproof make-up that was being sold by Janus was making headlines for all of the wrong reasons. This line was rushed & sloppily released by the troubled/disturbed Sionis without the adequate testing it should’ve had. The make-up ended up being toxic when applied and mixed w/ other cosmetics, leading to the disfigurement of hundreds of women. Roman’s company was tanking, and he needed Bruce’s help for the 1st time in his life. This was very hard for Roman to accept, which Bruce had somewhat realized. Bruce also knew that Roman had at least something to do w/ the death of his parents and did not see Roman as someone who was fit to run the company anymore. So, Bruce says he will help-out the company only if the it is to be under the control of Wayne Enterprises from here on out. Sionis, now a broken & empty man, has nothing. His mind is now completely lost as well. Later that day, he wanders over to the ruins of his family’s mansion and begins carving a mask out of a piece of charred wood from his parents bedroom (Symbolizing himself as now a mask-wearer like they were). When Batman shows up to question these goings on, Sionis sets the place ablaze again in order to get away. Except this time, he is now about to be trapped. The only way out is a burning window frame which he sprints and dives through, but the extreme heat has caused damage to his face that was bearing the carved mask. Once he’s far enough away, he looks at his reflection in a puddle and discovers his face has been disfigured. This drives him yet even more insane, and now revenge-driven, thus Black Mask is born.

Black Mask is now determined to get back at the people he feels have made him become what he now is. He plans to target both Bruce Wayne and Batman. If he cannot have his company, then he shall take over Gotham much like the mob had. First, Mask uses his remaining fortune to buy out the rest of the mob’s power and resources, now making him untouchable while also him the true sole king of Gotham’s underworld. He now believes that there is no way that Batman can ever take him down. He also

has the resources to hurt Bruce Wayne. Mask strikes fear and sends messages to all those who will attempt to get in his way by wiping out gangs throughout Gotham, and wiping the scarring make-up onto the faces of the people he kills (much like Joker w/ his cut smile ritual). His first order of action is to kidnap Lucius Fox, knowing that Fox is both financially important and emotionally/personally important (Fox & Thomas Wayne were very close friends). Bruce sees no other suspect in this crime but Sionis and is determined to track him down. Suddenly he’s hit with a hunch/inspiration: if Catwoman was going after the Wayne finances, maybe she was also going after the Sionis finances to accomplish what she had set out to. Upon looking into it, this had consistently been the case in the most recent robberies. Suddenly, Bruce now needed Catwoman in order to save Fox and possibly bring down Black Mask.

Night after night, Batman systematically seeks out anyone who is associated w/ Black Mask or knows anything about him. His detective skills are in full force at the same time that his intimidation is beginning to peak, and it proves invaluable. The Batman legend is now realizing its potential. While Batman is quietly bringing down Black Mask one-by-one, Catwoman is beginning to make her mark financially. Mask now realizes that his companies are getting hit more and more and decides that it has to end. He knows it’s been Catwoman, word of her has spread like wildfire throughout the underworld. Mask decides he needs to make an example out of Catwoman to show everyone what crossing him will cause. He plans to provoke her into confronting him. He begins to damage/destroy every establishment she rejuvenated and to cripple every organization she has assisted. This means any school or rec center or after school center is safe, it’s all fair game. Mask also starts a drug ring in the area that Catwoman has tried to help the most.

Black Mask’s attack on Bruce Wayne is also in full swing. He’s been torturing Fox in order to gain knowledge on the most personal aspect(s) of Bruce’s life. Insiders of Mask’s at Wayne Enterprises have also come across some very interesting evidence that suggests that Batman either works for Bruce Wayne or is quite possibly Wayne himself. To test this theory, he has Alfred kidnapped. Black Mask figures that if the closest person in Bruce’s life, the only “family” member he has, is taken, then Batman will be sure to follow and bring himself so that Mask can get revenge personally. Bruce, upon discovering Alfred’s “disappearance”, is now a broken man. His symbol for fighting crime has brought crime to his home and business and has now taken the most important person in his life.

Batman, now enraged, goes on his way to the building that he believes is where Black Mask is hiding Fox & Alfred. He had come to this conclusion before Alfred’s disappearance due to his interrogation of Mask’s insiders/henchmen. The hideout was believed to be one of the Janus Cosmetics wearhouses that Wayne had closed down shortly after taking control of the company (symbolic to Black Mask using what Bruce has done to get back at him). Batman enters the warehouse after tactically taking down a large group of Mask’s men. We see Alfred and Fox in a the middle of the warehouse and Mask behind them wielding two pistols aimed at their backs. A conversation between the two ensues, w/ Mask calling Batman “Bruce” throughout. He then tells Batman that if he does not take off the mask that he will shoot either Alfred or Fox. And if he fails again, he will shoot the other.

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Batman tries to negotiate but Mask does not bend, he only repeats the demand again and again. Mask grows increasingly impatient, points the gun at Fox, and pulls the trigger. As Fox falls to the side, we see Catwoman standing there w/ gun in hand, and Black Mask falls to the floor. Batman rushes to Fox’s side, only to see that he was hit through his right shoulder due to Black Mask being shot first and thus off-target. Upon discovering that Fox will be ok, Batman confronts Catwoman, telling her that  he cannot justify or condone her murdering anyone, no matter what pain/agony he had put people through. Catwoman does not apologize, she explains what Mask had done and all of the work that was undone. Here again in this conversation we see the two different psychologies meet again - complimenting and/or contradicting each other. As Batman tries to apprehend her, she points the gun at him because she has to help the city in her way and she can’t go to jail. Right before she leaves, she says “I’m sorry, but until again…goodbye..Bruce”. We fade out.

The reason I want the movie to end in that fashion is because it leaves the door wide open for the next movie. It also could mean the pursuing of Bruce Wayne by Selina Kyle. Or Bruce attempting to discover Catwoman’s identity on his own and attempting to confront her about his identity since she’s an active member of Gotham’s underworld. If anyone finds out she knows, which could already be the case, then her capture could risk Batman’s identity be revealed. I choose Black Mask for this movie because he is one of the darker, more tragic, and personal villains in the Batman realm. Black Mask was introduced in August 1985, making him a very new villain, which is partly why he’s very unknown. He also has never been in a movie and only made one appearance in the animated shows. He is also a villain who is practically a mirror image of Bruce. At the same time he is Bruce’s opposite. It’s a very interesting comparison. Same w/ Batman and Catwoman. They are out to achieve the same goal in bettering Gotham, but Catwoman’s methods go against everything Batman stands for and has been trying to establish. Of course, there are some plot holes, I know. I couldn’t complete the full script but a lot is assumed. For example, I didn’t mention the romantic interactions/aspects of the Batman-Catwoman relationship because those are left to be assumed and can really be added anywhere, it’s a given. But in this, I see a very personal battle for Bruce/Batman, unlike one we’ve ever seen before. Batman also has some major moral dillemas to deal w/ and confront. In this, I also see Batman’s legend/character evolve fully and practically meet its potential. Who he is finally comes into fruition.

So, in conclusion, this is a vague story that I feel would make for a great story. I’ve been a long Batman fan but have not heard of Black Mask until about a year ago. I feel he would be a very good adversary because of the opposites and similaries he and Batman/Bruce Wayne share. Also, Black Mask is very effective w/ guns and is very strong in hand-to-hand combat. Catwoman makes for an obvious choice since Rachel is gone and a new romantic interest needs to be introduced (and we all know the history Batman & Catwoman share..). Another thing I would like to mention is the theme. In Begins, the theme was “fear”. In TDK, the theme was “escalation”. In B3 (I’d probably call it Gotham Knight btw), I would have to say the themse is “love” or something along those lines, something personal. As the character evolves, so do the complications, and I hope that these two villains share the big screen together to show this. So long fellow Bat-nerds! See ya in 2012.

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An Old Friend …

So this is the kind of shit that happens in my life. Even my friends are the craziest people ever.friend suggestion

Also here is a great video I found online while stumbling. I want this kid to work for us one day.

Fat Iraqi Kid Runs The Block

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Boycott #1: Fast Food - Contributor to Our Country’s Health Crises

4/17 - First off, this post is opinion. Any claims I make about these companies and /or their products are based off of books I have read and documentaries I’ve seen, so this information has already been released to the public. I not making claims that haven’t already been publicly announced. Now, with that outta the way, I would like to say, you need to stop eating so much fast food! This happens to be the most recent of my boycotts and the one that makes me the happiest that I’ve decided to do. This is one of the most evil industries for several reasons: the impact it has on your health (obviously), the way it treats its employees & livestock, and the way it disguises its nastiness through its marketing.

Let’s look @ the second of those reason to start off. If you’ve ever seen or read “Fast Food Nation”, then you know the appalling manner in which the livestock are treated. The pigs are apparently crammed into tiny spaces, practically standing and shitting on each other, as if pigs weren’t already dirty enough (fast food companies buy more pork than anyone in the U.S. btw) The cows are apparently treated the same way, except they produce an extraordinary amount of shit, which means all of that bacteria not only inevitably makes its way into your “food”, but also into the groundwater (fecal matter has been found in burgers before). Not only are those cows very disgusting, but a McDonald’s rep even said that there can be meat from over 1,000 cows in a single patty! Mmm, tasty! I’m loving it alright. Let’s not forget about the chickens either, which “Super Size Me” claims have “unusually large breasts”. Sounds safe to eat, right?…The employees are treated horribly as well, I mean, when was the last time you yourself woke up and thought “I really wanna work for so & so! I should apply now, what am I waiting for?!” Didn’t think so…

The impact on one’s health is no secret. Fast food without a doubt can shorten your life (Morgan Spurlock almost died towards the end of a 30 day fast food diet due to a fatty liver in “Super Size Me”). Seriously, in no way do I want to consume fries that are capable of going 10 weeks without any change in appearance. That is just wrong (try it yourself if you don’t believe me). Fast food is also highly addictive. Whenever I smell this stuff, it’s like the dog that salivates after the bell ring. Haven’t you ever thought it highly unusual that fast food has the same affect on people as drugs do? For example, when Spurlock of “Super Size Me” was on his diet, he would feel like crap in between meals, but as he ate he would feel like a million bucks, like a heroin addict who just got a fix. It’s very odd. Basically, this food is like a drug being legally sold and advertised, but it’s a big-time money-making industry so the gov’t doesn’t give a shit (what else is new, though?). I’ve even read about and heard about McDonald’s calling its consumers “users“, not customers, users! Think about that for me, will ya? A natural cure book I read claims that fast food also causes cancer, as well as cause (according to “Super Size Me”): diabetes, hypertension, coronary heart disease, stroke, gall bladder disease, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, respiratory problems, dyslipidemia, insulin resistance, asthma, hyperuricemia, reproductive hormone abnormalities, polycycstic ovarian syndrome, and impaired fertility. So, you hungry yet? Oh, and as for those of you who say “But it’s cheap!”, umm when “food” is capable of making you that sick, it is no longer cheap, it’s financially crippling in the long-term. But hey, it does then put money into another monstrous industry: medicine. So I suppose fast food puts your money a couple of areas when you think about it. Yum!

Now, considering that fast food can be this dangerous and inhumane, don’t you find their marketing a tad creepy? Keep in mind everything that you’ve just read here the next time you see an ad. It is damn creepy just thinking about it. “Come to our wonderful restaurant and spend your money on this big, juicy slab of toxic fat! Don’t you love it?” Wahoo. Or even the next time you see a fast food restaurant. For crying out loud, there’s playgrounds in these places! Eesh, it’s just frightening to think about, “Come inside kids and play and get intoxicated! Or better yet, invite all of your friends here for a birthday party so they can get poisoned too! Yay!” (Kinda ironic to have your kids’ celebration of life at a place that shortens it..). At least Michael Jackson’s creepy ass wasn’t poisoning the kids that came over to play. These corporations are simply “cracked out”.

So please, for your sake heed these warnings, I beg you. I understand that this food is addicting as hell, but if you just stop yourself for 10 days, you’re well on your way to pulling it off. And if you absolutely must eat it, grab a salad or a wrap, huh? I mean, unless you want to eat fries that take over 10 weeks to decay. Clean yourselves out and go spend that $5.00 on some bread and lunch meat. At least that can only kill you if you choke on it.We as a country need to stop eating ourselves to death! Peace!

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My roommate is a Klepto.

It’s pretty well known by our group of friends that my roommate/bestie is a kepto when she gets drunk. She has admitted to stealing money out of purses (including my own), cups and pitchers from bars, and most recently- a door mat from the University Center on campus. Now usually, I’m not surprised when she brings home a stolen item after a night of drinking, but this time she might have gone a little too far. I’m glad she gave up and left it on the curb after trying to drag it to my car.

Ria's tree.

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Fine I’ll admit it, I’m a fucking super hero

beer-iconYou know what I can’t take it anymore! My friends and family have always looked at me with questioning eyes and I can tell they wonder what it is that I do in my spare time. For years and years I’ve had to hide the truth about my real identity and calling. Well today I announce to the world that I am here and I am no longer afraid to be judged for my powers. Perhaps the knowing of my unique abilities will give inspiration to those who would like to follow in the footsteps of justice and help preserve of our way of life for generations to come; perhaps even make it better.
So, after years of struggling with my secret identity I have finally decided to enter into the light of the public eye, and I will here, for the first time list my powers for all to see in the hope that it will inspire future leaders of the free world. Here it goes…

1. I can tell if your girlfriend is an air-headed whore.

This one was one of the first extrasensory abilities I developed. I’ll admit I wasn’t sure of the ability myself until I entered my junior year of high school. It was at this point I began to notice that my friends’ girlfriend wasn’t quiet human; at least, not the way you and I think of human. Now while I know you may not have this same extrasensory ability I can offer you the tools to empower yourself against this kind of atrocity. Their behavior and interests can identify air-headed whores. For example, these girls can often be heard saying things like the following: “oh my god can you believe what happened on The Hills?” “Have you seen THAT scruffy bartender?” “My Dr. said I have another urinary tract infection!” “Well I switched my major to (sociology / marketing / communications / public relations / business) because I felt it was my best option.”

2. I can smell a douche bag from two streets away

This extrasensory ability I developed my senior year of high school / freshman year of college. Now I’ll admit this one is one of the most powerful and surprisingly prevalent abilities that common humans have. I do have to admit though in my days of fighting for integrity and justice this ability is usually bestowed upon other males and a select group of females, which deserve upmost respect. For those of you who ARE NOT born with this natural ability to detect the prominent douchbaggery, have no fear, there are ways to establish if your friend or boyfriend is a grade-a douche bag. If a man is not a representative of a cologne distributer and has more than 4 types of cologne in his residence then he is a douche bag. If a man has a collection of either hats OR (not and) belts that totals over $150 then he is a douche bag. If his hair can support more than half a Lb. of weight before touching his scalp he is a douche bag. The last and most obvious sign, if anyone wears their hat in any way other than straight forward or straight back they are a douche bag.

3. I can tell when first meeting a girl weather or not she will contract skin cancer by the time she is 37.

This was a power I honestly didn’t develop until my second year of college. Considering my other powers and their scope I was shocked that it took so long for this power of mine to develop. I first noticed it when attending common house parties and fraternity mixers. Without a doubt this has been one of my most difficult powers to deal with. When I began to sense that these girls would contract cancer I was obviously horrified and didn’t know how to approach them with the information! How do you tell someone they will contract cancer? Nevertheless I feel it is important to empower the public with this same knowledge of what to look for in the hope that someone else is more capable of tackling this problem than I am. First, if a girl works at, or has worked at a tanning salon they must be notified immediately of their impending condition! The problem however is that most often the girls who work at these establishments are not the key victims. It’s sometimes difficult to notice the condition of these girls at first, but the details are in the subtleties. If you ever encounter a girl whose underarms mysteriously match the subtle orange glow of her face then please tell her immediately that she is in danger!

I know that is a lot to absorb at once and it is very difficult to put these ideas into practice all at once so I will continue the list of my powers within the next few days so that they will be acceptable to all the public.

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Ode to my new ‘friend’

I would first and foremost like to say that I have not had a weekend like this in awhile… which made me realize that I still hate being called Smashlee. A good friend of mine turned 21, and then last night, Saturday April 4th was Lambda Chi’s annual White Rose formal. and as much as I would love to write about my experience, this article is about the events that occurred after the dance, which made for an epic night. At midnight, our dance ended, which gave us two choices:
1. We Stay at the Upfront (apparently there was a good band- but for those of you who know my situation, this was automatically vetoed.)
2. We walk to Remies
I was already 2 Long Islands, 1 Motor Boat, 3 vodka cranberries, and 2 shots deep, so I didn’t know if I wanted to drink more, but I eventually agreed to go. I went in, and expected to just chill, but I ended up taking a few shots. The last shot I had consisted of coors light and whiskey. The rock hit the bottom of my stomach, and I felt it come up as fast as it went down. I ran to the bathroom but there were three girls in line. They saw I was about to throw up, so as soon as the handicap bathroom opened they let me go in, but instead of shutting the door, they proceeded to follow behind me. I was confused, but didn’t care. I started to throw up. One of the girls was holding my hair back, which again confused me because I had no idea who the hell these girls were but I didn’t care. As I was leaning over the toilet, my phone that I was keeping in my top fell right in. The stranger instantly reached in and picked it up, and washed it off. I knew it was donzo, but I still appreciated the help. I probably would have just left it in there. And that is one out of many AWESOME events of the night. I’d like to thank that random girl for her help. My phone did not make it, but it made me appreciate my phone even more. I’m going to try and be a safer drunk. I’d save a lot of money. I’d like to end with a wonderful quote I stumbled upon:

“Catnip is a hopeful for the replacement of medical Marijuana”

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A 21st for Drunkenhouse

beer-iconWell a friend of the site a Mr. Taylor Clark turned 21 last night and I brought along the camera to add to our photo collection here on the site. This man is rather infamous and now that he is 21 I hear for the lives and souls of the women and children around this town. You should not have too much trouble figuring out the sequence of the photos because it becomes gradually more obvious when the booze starts to kick in. I myself bought him a Tijuana whore (a shot of tequila and a shot of pickle juice) and most everyone else seemed to be hooking him up with tequila shots too so I’m not to sure when he will be able to stand it again.
There are also two of our Drunkenhouse authors Steve and Bryce in a few of these photos.

All photographs taken by Jeff Kitson©

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A “Religulous” Experience

pot-icon3/30/09 - As I sit here brew-buzzed and puffin’ on this Black & Mild, I have to admit that Bill Maher’s documentary/mockumentary “Religulous” is a true masterpiece. I had always been a catholic until 13 months ago when the sheer ridiculousness of religion was finally brought to my attention. I mean, it is literally absolute madness. One thing that helped me to notice this was this scenario: Imagine a person who’s completely oblivious to the concept of religion walking into a church and witnessing a mass. Now, how completely insane & crazy are those worshippers going to appear to this religiously illiterate individual? Chanting away and praying and singing to a “god”? That person would be scared shitless! He probably wouldn’t come within a couple hundred yards of a church ever again, or befriend a religious follower (btw, in this piece, when I refer to “religion” I mostly mean christianity, moron I mean mormon, and Judaism - the psychos basically). Case rested if you successfully visualize that scenario. Seriously, how ignorant, hypnotized, and brainwashed does one need to be to walk into a natural history museum, see actual fossils inches from their bodies, and still walk out a religious individual? (Spare me the whole “God put those here to test our faith” argument, ok? Carbon dating is pretty full proof and that pathetic argument is just one’s way of protecting themselves from obvious truth) It’s borderline infuriating.

You know how I kinda view religion? Religion is nothing but a huge pacifier. When a baby starts whining, shove a pacifier in its mouth and it shuts up, right? No worries, no noise, just the comfort of a silent baby that is now at peace because it forgot what it was worrying about in the first place. All is right w/ the world as long as the pacifier’s in place. Another thing that I see as an object that relates to religion can be found at the grocery store. You know that piece of rubber at the check-out lane that keeps your groceries from encountering my own? That thing. I say this because religion is very very effective at something: separating. Then again, the rubber itself is like the opposite of religion because it keeps everyone at peace, nice and calm and worry-free. So, religion is more like the chaos that would ensue if this rubber piece were to be missing:

- “Get your groceries away from my groceries or I break your damn skull!”

- “But my groceries have as much right to be here as your’s do! Let me shop in peace.”

- “But mine were here first! So move your shit.”

- “I have more, though!”

I hope you see where I’m heading w/ this. With that rubber separator in place, no one panics. With the religious separator in place, we have nothing but war, death, and utter chaos. Basically, Bill Maher finally put on to DVD what I myself have been wanting to for 13 months. He treats religion the way it truly deserves to be treated: like a big, fat joke! He laughs and points in these peoples’ faces all movie long as he calls them out because that’s what truly needs to happen. In order for people to snap out of it, they have to realize how ridiculous and ludicrous they really sound to others. As soon as he walks up to these grown adults and pulls out their baby pacifiers to show them how ridiculous it looks and sounds to have one, they start screaming like babies, take their little nipple back, shove it back into their mouths, and storm out of the room as to avoid their own ignorance by being completely uncooperative and childish in their fits. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think it’s very good for people to have something to believe in and to have faith in, and I also completely 100% agree w/ the morals it teaches. It’s always good to have hope and it’s never good to kill/steal/etc. But what Bill shows you is how violent and angry a lot of people get when confronted. Religion angers people so much that we will fight and kill over it. It is a poison and a cancer to the human race. Until we are able to cleanse makind of this evil curse, then we are in for more of the same, and it’s only going to get continually worse as time progresses. But hey, there’s still a growing number of sensible and sane individuals out there as time progresses (religion is slowly crumbling as humans become more self aware) so there is hope, friends. After I ditched catholocism I looked into the art of zen & buddhism. Now, I am in no way a full-on buddhist, but it preaches inner peace. A body free of worry and free of stress. Stress is probably the single biggest contributor to poor physical and mental health. Buddha knew this. A big belief in the buddhist realm is the belief in that there’s absolutely nothing to worry about because everything will always be ok, everything always works itself out. Upon adopting this mentality, you’ll realize that it is 100% true. You can come into a situation completely empty of a way out, and way will create/show itself to you. I’ve witnessed this first-hand in my life an uncountable number of times within the last two years. Another major belief is the elief in now. The past is the past, that’s where it will stay and that’s where it should always be. The future is unknown, but controllable, so why fret about it? Just focus on this moment. (”Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mysery. But today is a gift, which is why we call it the present“) Hopefully you join me in this mentality, it’s a shame if you do not because you’re only hurting yourself and holding yourself back. Worrying and stressing about things does not make them go away, it only makes them worse. Your overall health, on the other hand, is sufferring because of it. I hope one day, that this becomes the new “religion”, the new beliefs that people adopt. A person at peace with themselves will be at peace with others and overall peace can be achieved, we just have to try and snap out of it. Good. Day!

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